The Golden Goose that is French History and why the fuck do we need Game of Thrones.
Postcards from the Valley of Kings in France.
Having arrived in France by the way of Paris i was left with a sour taste of “cultural enrichment”. A vietnamese man who spoke neither french nor english and did not have any manners took us to the train station, graffiti and trash everywhere. It was…expected, until we arrived at our true destination, the Val de Loire, or the “Valley of Kings”, where more than 150 castles (chateaux) scattered around the area that was once a battleground between France and Englad dot the landscape.
We are staying at a small Chateau built in the XIXth century by an accentric family who wanted the same thing as me, to roleplay as an aristocrat in the countryside. Sadly, the current owner (who lives at the hotel), is a nasty bitch who doesn’t know a thing about hospitality. The staff is a mess and place is really decaying, but i suppose that is what makes it affordable,
Don’t worry, this won’t be a doomer post.
Our first stop, Chambord, blew my mind. The Castle is more of a Reinassance palace built by an eccentric king called François I, who enjoyed three things: War, Women and Art. His military campaigns in Italy ended in utter failure, but he did bring the good italian taste in architecture and art to northern France with him. A certain Leonardo da Vinci was among the men of quality brought over, and he helped create Francis’s masterpiece of Chambord.
Chambord is a funny castle. There is nothing on the interior, but the exterior is mindblowing. I was awe-struck by the size and complexity of the building, and even more curious about what it would have looked like back in 1530 when it was completed. Those were times of true extravagance; of Hunts, Balls, Knightly Jousts and Parties. I bought an amusing book that tries to paint Francis in a good light (if you knew how difficult it is to find monarchist books in france…sacre bleu!). The author is extremely apologetic about not know-towing to modern ideals, saying in the preface that the characters of his book should be understood using the metrics of their time. The book is in french so it will take me a while, but it seems promising. Another book i aquired was about Diane de Poitiers, the mad lover of Henri II, the king famous for taking a lance hit straight trough his skull during a joust bout and leaving Catherine de Medici, Dummas most hated historical figure, on the throne as Consort-Regent.
You see, Henri II, son of Francis, had a love affair with this woman called Diane, and he, like most nobles at the time, he didn’t exactly keep it a secret. Diane was very extravagant, and Henri was madly in love with her, so much so that he ordered the inscription of their intials into every Chateau in France (HD). This book i expect to be some femminist garbage, but let’s see. I’m quick to pick up the style.
Today we visited a much smaller chateau, also one hour away, called Chaumont-Sur-Loire, which is actually from the middle ages unlike Chambord. Terrible modern installations were placed around it, as i noticed by seeing a beautiful painting of how the place looked in 1873 and in the painting it was just the pure bliss of the castle with the river right down below. I cannot complain much here because it was an amazing experience, and this one had actual decór inside, tapestries and all.
An Actual Game of Thrones?
I can’t help but wonder if this magic place wouldn’t be a great setting for some much better written game of thrones series. Every character from the past that lived here is extremely unique and interesting, and i often wonder why do we have to come up with endless fantasy worlds if the real one is way more interesting. Maybe because europeans hate their culture, but that is not a topic for this post. All i’m saying is, give me Francis, Henri II, Diane de Poitiers and Catherine de Medici and it would outsell the trashy fake England of George R.R. Martin by the millions. And here lies the problem.
People, specially the french i met, don’t know their history. Ok they know about jewish 20th century propaganda, they know about world wars and the american “liberators”, but they don’t know the golden goose they have on their hands with their reinassance and baroque history. Dumas did, and he wrote many decent books. Funny that it took a Mulato to give french history a good homage (three musketeers and twenty years after). France’s history, specially Early Modern History, is extremely rich, and if europeans took their history as serious as asians take theirs, we woud have have amazing tv series and book series about these very things.
By asians treating their history as sacred i do mean the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, a civil war quasi-fictional book whom every child in Korea, Japan and the Chinas has already read by age 10. You know, cultural pride?
The reason nobody knows about the Kings and Queens of France is entirely due to both how america portrays french history and how the 20th century eclipsed everything. Everyone knows of Marie Antoinette and her fake quotes, it is common knowlege. Does anyone know about Saint Louis the Crusader? Even when people know about Louis XIV, do they know he fought an incredible war where he sorrounded the Dutch Republic by taking 130 fortified towns and bastions in a single season and Amsterdam was threatened directly as a result? or even that this Franco-Dutch War killed 600 THOUSAND PEOPLE?
People know about Napoleon, but do they know he left his army in Egypt to become arab slaves?
By all this i mean, the knowlege of french history among the modern “pop culture” audience is atrocious, and it is sadly carefully selected and curated by americanized sources to be atrocious. Hell, i even think there is more chance of a French 20 year old knowing more about Game of Thrones lore than any of his countrie’s incredible wars or its eccentric and interesting Kings and Queens.
This country bleeds good history, which could make for good epics, and the Revolution ,Liberalism and jewish awareness propaganda have dealt it a death blow.
It is okay thought. I will keep visiting chateaux nobody cares about, reading about incredible wars that nobody cares about and smugly explaining to my travelling companions all the “useless” facts about the eccentricities of incredible Kings and their love for war, women and art, while the common folk will continue to obsesses over every detail of the Targaryen clusterfuck that is Game of Thrones.
One could only wish for an European Revival centered around French Monarchism or The Thirty Years War in Germany…
If only so many revolutionaire bullshit didn’t obscure the minds of these brainwashed “Europeans”, maybe we could have epics about an actual fantasy world that existed and dwarfs those that populate the minds of most enthusiastic nerds.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what the rabble believes, does it? it just feels a bit lonley admiring the history of a great nation when the people that live there themselves don’t even know it.
Expect more postcards from France soon, Rake Out.
What is interesting is that as a 'Frog' j'ai toujours adorer notre histoire. Always loved our history, I do think it is better inspiration than any other country's history or culture for a fantasy world. Mine is purely inspired by Japan, Scotland, Rome and most of all France.
I'm so glad you're getting to enjoy the greatest country in all of Europe. J'espere que tu arrete au moins par St-Denis et planifie visiter aussi Chinon.
Indeed, the French have been so inculcated from birth with self hatred that they’re almost universally incapable of appreciating their own greatness and have never learned their own history except the anecdotes they can use to justify how horrible they actually are. The ones who do admire their own past are usually too busy grumbling about being surpassed by the Anglo to imagine and future return to greatness.
If you’ve not read it yet, Norwich’s France: A History is the best treatment I’ve come across, although he unfortunately stops short at WW2. Venner’s Un Samouraï d’Occident is also worth picking up, and I imagine his histories are worthwhile as well.
En tout cas, bienvenue et bonne route - content de vous avoir parmi nous !